It drives me crazy that this is a trend now

My husband and I got engaged during my sophmore year in college, and married the summer between my junior and senior years.  He had dropped out of college, with 4 semesters under his belt, the year before we met, but has held a couple of retail management jobs that he excells at, as his subordinants and superiors alike never miss an opportunity to tell me. 

So we had always at least considered the idea that I would be the primary breadwinner and higher earner.  But when I graduated college with a B.S. degree in the truest sense of the word, and no clear idea of what to do next, we sort of hit a standstill.  I got a good but not great job at an insurance company; he continued to manage retail; we earned similar salaries and were happy and good, but stagnant and stuck.

I had always excelled in academia, and when I flirted with the idea of law school, he supported me wholehartedly.  The insurance job was fine, but neither one of us could leave to raise children, and as we matured, we had begun to both take on a Dr. Laura-like attitude that day care was certainly no place for babies.  So I would go to law school; I would get a lawyer job, and he would raise the kids.  (At least to those completely unable to anticipate the disaster that would hit the legal market), it made perfect sense. 

Most of my law school classmates gave it lip service as a good idea, but I could see that they thought it something that they  would never do; after all, the females would marry up, ot at least equal, and shun the “lower classes” who lacked a degree. 

But now, the New York Times tells me that everyone’s doing it.  (via Ann Althouse) And, of course, that it is full of problems we must analyze and navel-gaze to death. 

Related: Dr. Helen writes of an article about “operational sex ratios” (where one sex outnumbers the other, as is found among college-educated women). 

The rest of the article seems to go on about how women cannot find guys suitable enough for them because they (the women) are too highly educated and too “high level” [my words] for the men they date.

Hmm, so if I were in the market today, with a J.D., I would have a world of lesser-educated fellows for the taking?  Damn. 

Kidding, kidding.  Since I met my fellow when I was a mere freshman in college, and he’s still the one I would pick, no question, I must have won the freakin’ lottery.

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2 Responses

  1. Interesting article. The part about divorce rates kind of supports an idea that I’ve had before. I hypothesize (i’ll never do the research so no theory) that at some point the majority of young girls started being taught that they were full equals and could do whatever they wanted with their lives. At the same time, no one bothered to tell young boys that they could not use femininity as the relative weak to their strong. And that they could not expect the female partner at home situation that they may have seen with their parents or grandparents. I guess, in short, I think feminism changed what people taught their daughters to think of themselves, but not what they taught their sons of girls. Just an idea.. any thoughts?

    • Hmm, interesting idea. I think that you’re on the right track, but I’d add that I think that a lot of feminism wound up being about self-esteem, entitlement, and elitism, with the elitism being more of a liberal in general thing, in that anything other than a professional education (even when in something far less useful than anything you could learn at a trade school) makes one a better person.

      This culminated in girls thinking that they not only could accomplish anything (good), but also that they are entitled to do so and entitled to rewards for it, including the top (by the elitist definition) men.

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